Hah great. Look at the freaking time and I'm not asleep. Can't seem to be able to tuck myself in at all. I've been missing BF (thanks to NS), tried to keep myself busy or enjoy myself out somewhere. Yet somehow I seem to think that making my own way over to his place after work, taking care of our cat, having dinner with his Sis, rolling around his bed, fooling around with his laptop is more enjoyable than doing anything else. Well, it's all prolly cos' his presence was taken away from me. I relish sniffing him out of his pillows, bolsters, blanket, t-shirts and sometimes, I'll just start spraying his scent around his whole room then sleep in it. Hahaha. I sound like a lovesick cat. Disgusting but I'm truly one I guess.

Been thinking of alot of stuff recently. Still can't put my finger as to what's the actual feeling. I feel stone most of the time. Unless I'm my usual crappy self in front of you. Have been driving around aimlessly, stopping at random places for smokes, alone. Walking long slow strides with an almost blank mind. So many things to consider, so many things to weigh.

Or maybe, I should stop weighing pros and cons. Just go with what I like and what I deem right.

Or maybe I'm just really tired. From all these nonsense.

Irresponsible people are such irritants. So, they think that they are still infants or something? Still needing someone to clean their shits off their asses every single time?

Yet at the same time, be overly proud about whatever teeny-puny-fuck "achievement' they have. Then start bossing people around just to boost their own ego, based on those "achievements".

Now tell me, should I buy you a trumpet for your birthday? You can blow it for all you like. But stop doing it in my face.

Because
I know all the shits that you've done
I know how irresponsible you are
I have to clean your ass every single time
I have to put up with your nonsense all the time
I have to put up with your lack of hygiene
I have started to have a lil' OCD, thanks to you
I have experienced being given false hopes
I have stupidly believed your empty promises
I have to seek psychiatric help soon
I have the truth to your lies
I have tolerated not exposing you in your face ALL the time (obviously cos' you lie ALL the time)
I have had enough of your fucked up behaviour and attitude.



Y'know what? Just fucking KISS MY ASS