I seriously still don't understand. After all that we had as friends, you can say all those hurting things without even considering the extent of how it's gonna hurt our friendship. I never once harped on the topic about your blog. All I asked was just one simple question and you could have just told me a simple "No.". Simple?

Whatever that I've replied is just a response to whatever hurtful shit you've sent me. You said all kinda shits that night and now you tell me you don't have the courage to talk to me until you went home after the drinking session you had with whoever and you're sorry that you've hurt me.

I've made things so clear one year back. But till date, I still don't see whatever changes we have between us. It has never became better. Maybe all that I did wrong was to delude myself that we've changed. But the fact is nothing has changed. I read through our past msn conversation. April 2008 till now. The issues are still the same. All the same.

I read through your texts again. Then I read through that apology on msn. It doesn't go. It's like 2 very different people talking to me. I don't have the strength, patience, heart, endurance or anything else to continue anymore. If there's no mutual acceptance and understanding. I have no idea how this is gonna continue.

As I've said, I'm not a friend who will always go out and be crazy and have fun with you but I'll always be around if you're down and need me. I'm this kinda person. Now I don't know why I should be around all the time when you told me you don't even need it.

I don't understand why our friendship should be measured by all these superficial shits. You can find these shits with others and think that your friendship is so superb, go ahead. You've pushed me away many times but I keep coming back. Pride is something that I've put down in front of you.

Baby, I don't call you baby for nothing. But I'm not around to be a clown. I'm not around to tolerate all these hurtful words. I call you baby cos' you're someone dear to me. I don't call you baby so that I can be laughed at or be the subject of an inside joke.

aiya '

i also will jealous about this kinda thing

but afterall, that's human what

but yeah la, there's a drift between us and we know it more or less. but no matter what, at least we're both maintaining our whatevership

In short, I call you baby and I don't mind so many stupid things because I love you as a friend, alot. I don't even care whoever say what cos' prolly they are feeling even more insecure or jealous than I am.

I didn't reply to your apology is cos' I don't even know what to say to you anymore. Whatever that I'll say would only be a repeat of whatever I've said a year back. Pointless. We'd so much memories. Prolly it just didn't mean anything to you.

Memories?

you very tired lehhhhhhhhh

tell ur mama i miss her

tell ur papa i miss him

tell ur rabbit i dont like him/her

tell ur bottle of alcohol i'm coming

you're my sunshine, my darling sunshine

u make me happy

when skies are grey

without you is like cny without angpow

angpow without money

cny without oranges

im here im here

so there's still angpow

oranges and money

i love you baby

love you too

anyway if ur nick is sayin us, u still mean alot to me.

ok sry

no more sorry's (:

i dont know, like for the first time, there's like got tension between both

ahhh. it's over alrdy. so don't mention it anymore aite

alright ily

loves (:

not important

impt is now you all okay can alrdy

if anyone dare say you

come hide behind me.

Sweet huh? But I'm letting go. It upsets me so much.

Y'know, after reading your text, I realised how apt your blog song describes us?

It upsets me girl when you're constantly accusing. We're fighting this war baby when both of us are losing. What happened to working it out. We fall into this place where you ain't backing down and I ain't backing down so what the hell do we do now?